Nick Offerman's 5 Rules for Being a Man

Nick Offerman’s

5 Rules for Being a Man

Rule #1 Take a bite of Steak.

Rule #2 Wash it down with some whisky.  Preferably single-malt scotch.

Rule #3 Find a socialist and punch him or her in the face.

Rule #4 Hand craft a small wooden boat.  Out of cedar preferably ... obviously.

Rule #5 Make love to a partner of your choice.  Preferably someone who is recepting of your advances.  And upon climax, withdraw your firearm and unload some rounds, laced with double entendre into the night sky...

That’s what people think I am going to say.

But what I would really say is:

“Just stand up for your principles and be loyal to your friends and family.”